Hi guys ! Today we will be talking about your presentation to our indian friends. It might seem very normal and easy stuff to do, but after some time, you might have to adapt. In the meantime, you will learn a bit more about me. Even my parents might learn something 🙂
I have to admit, if you “adapt” your story all the time, there are few real facts left. I’m am, indeed, a 27-year-old french guy. Those who know me may laught more than others and my parents may cry when they see the next sentence : “Sorry mom, I’m not gonna marry anytime soon” 🙂
So here is a little conversationnal guide to drive you throught the 5 questions you will always have to answer in India and in the same order.
“Usefull” info : I hope you didn’t arrive on this page by suearching on google “christian couple” (cf url). If it is the case, know that you are not in my target and hoped for readers for this blog post.
What is you good name ?
S – Y – L – V – A – I – N ! I don’t know if it’s a good name but it’s the only one I knew about.
For a french-speaking person, it’s easy. Impossible for the others. In france, we have our good old “just-for-us” sounds that only us can pronounce. “un”, “ou”, “on”, etc. As as result, people gave so many names, I hardly know the real one anymore.
Big up for my indian names : Sylva, Sylvon, Sylvan, Sylver, Sylvie, “I don’t underrrrstand your name”, Sylvo, Sylvian, Sylvahine, … et the best STALIN !
All these names until the day Rishi (THANK YOU SO MUCH !) called me Sylvan. Incomprehensibly, every person in the room instantly understood and remebered it. So, here it is, my name is Sylvan for each of my trip from now on.
And I’m not alone : sweet thoughts to Germain aka Tom, Donatien aka jules, etc.
Just so you can recognise me if we cross in the street, here is a pic ! Cheers !
Where do you come from ?
Apparently, guessing I am french is not a problem as people say me “Bonjour” in the streets. The accent ? the look ? the beard ? the douchebag stare ? take the bets 🙂
However, it happens that I am (most of the time) in the “cool french” category, also know as the “non-parisian” category. I am not the one saying that.
Are you maried ? how old are you ?
Here, we enter the “complicated” part. The first personnal question an indian will ever ask you is : “Are you married ?“
If you answer “no“, like me and most of the backpacker in India, the following question will follow verrry verrry quickly “oooooh and how old are you ?“
Try to answer 27 or more and … the drama begins. Eyes wide opens and jaws dropped, your new friend is not getting something.
In the indian culture, if you are not married at 25 (even younger for young women), it is NOT COOL. Beyond the fact that the more you wait, the less chances you have to find a “proper” match, the parents might feel guilty from not getting “their job” done. (there are exceptions in big cities like mumbai, delhi, bengalore).
Trying not to look like a 27-yeay-old “weird dude” and also avoiding being cut in the middle of my next sentence by something like “Are you sure you are not married ? You should think about it.”, I found some solutions.
*Romantic sonor backgournd activated*
I tell them about Lucie, my girlfriend who staid in France because of her studies. Poor thing :). And “You understand, I am travelling for a year so it’s a bit complicated. We will see when I go back to France.
“Do you have a pic ?”
Always priceless reactions \o/
“She is not joining you in India, even for few days ?“
Tricky question 😉
She has not so much time to travel because she is also working aside of her studies and you know that few days are not enough to enjoy India (Boom ! first hit). She will surely join me at the end of my trip, when I will be back in europe (Boom ! Next subject).
For the most opened people, I just explain that in europe, if you are not married at 30, it’s ok. It’s the average age for a wedding.
If you worry about my mythomania, Lucie exists and she is beautifull (sooooo cuuuuuutteee \o/). We’ve just seen each other 3-4 times and she’s not my girlfriend, no drama here mate ! kisses !
If like me you wander around alone in India, that’s you choice to choose if the you want to be the lonely single guy and the douchebag boyfriend who let his girlfriend at home while enjoy a lot by himself. Know that I exagerated a bit, I had only once this entire conversation about this subject. Psycho indian guy 🙂
Know also that it’s the best I found. As soon I said I was single and french, I had these questions like “How many friends with benefits do you have ?”, “How do I get laid ?”, etc.
What religion do you beleive in ?
Pragmatic as you are, I am sure you noticed that the question is not “Do you believe in something ?”
I tried the real deal “Atheism”. Not necessarily the best option if you are in a hury or if you don’t want to talk about religion your entire 5h hour bus ride with your neighbour.
In India, atheism seems just not conceivable. The country’s culture and life is based on religion. There are more long term established religions than everywhere in the world. No one up there is just not possible. There are exception of course. However, the most interesting conversations I had were about religion, so much to learn and to understand. You can’t understand India if you don’t understand their beleifs.
So I am christian for 5 month 🙂
Here it is guys ! The end of this indian presentation. I hope you enjoyed it. It’s never easy to lie about a bit of yourself but sometimes you need it, especially when someone ask you the same questions for the fifth time in the day and you want to skip it.
If you also had to lie about something during your trips like buying a fake wedding ring to show that you are not available or insist that no, you didn’t divorsed 3 times, share it in the comments !